Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
did i walk over a car last night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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