Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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