i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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