Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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