He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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