Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
