think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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