The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
