If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
