I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
