She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
