And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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