I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
