I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
