He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
PANTIES FOUND
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
