It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
