And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
