Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
