I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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