Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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