hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize