I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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