Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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