PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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