I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
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