ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This house was built for laser tag.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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