party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
