Duck Duck Cougar?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
