i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize