Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
