It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize