i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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