wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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