The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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