this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize