We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dick very happy bro
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
