So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
