brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
