i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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