and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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