there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize