i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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