just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
