so explain again why im purple
no
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
not ubering you a puppy
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
