So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
