His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
