My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
