We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
