you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
