dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
where am i from again
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
