Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
