i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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