take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
