SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
