my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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