why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize