I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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