Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
