Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
