im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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