There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize