She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
splinters make it hard to masturbate
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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